Why Nott Me: October 2005

Friday, October 28, 2005

A perfect day to be off! I took a vacation day to catch up on things. Too many things. I made a list this morning. Decided there were too many things on the list I’ll never get them all done. So now I’m picking what to do off the list. I enjoy mowing so that made my list. Making cookies I’ve decided should happen after mowing so I’ll be able to warm up as it’s nippy out today. I’ve decided whatever else get done is just luck! But now that the sun is out and hopefully the yard dry, I’ve got to get busy. Beside I’m stuck inside everyday at work (with no window) so I’m going to go outside!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


There is a nip in the air. Low tonight is 37! Of course, being asthmatic, I’m hoping for a frost! I’ll try to learn how to post a picture this weekend. Saturday will be a day of taking pictures and walking in the woods. We’re attending a church get-together at our neighbor’s house. It should be a good day. Cook out and all! I’ve got some cooking to do for the Saturday outing. I’m hoping to do it all on Thursday evening! Cookies and pies. I have Friday off, I’ve offered to help setup for Saturday.

I’m trying to finish up my latest knitting project. A scarf for my Mom, that hopefully I’ll have finished.. tonight! I’ve already purchased yarn for my next project. I’m going to be trying out a new poncho, wool, for me this time.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Ever since we found out my father-in-law had cancer, this song has held a special place in my heart.
Live Like You are Dying, by Tim McGraw.

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of life before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the x-rays
Talking bout the options
and talking bout sweet time
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do
and he saidI went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
He said I was finally the husband
that most the time I wasn't
and I became a friend a friend would like to have
and all the sudden going fishin
wasn't such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I'd do if I could do it all again
and then
I went sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about
what'd you do with it
what did you do with it
what did I do with it
what would I do with it'
Sky diving
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter
and I watched an eagle as it was flying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were dying.
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying
To live like you were dying

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Several hours later, well it’s not as neat and clean as I would like, but there has been a vast improvement. The kitchen is straightened and cleaned. The kitchen and living room swept. And I’m on the third load of laundry (my last for this evening).
My sister had gotten me flowers for my birthday and I’ve recut the ends and they are nicely arranged sitting on my fireplace hearth. Yes, much better. And I’m thankful that my husband is willing to eat leftovers (several nights in a row).

My husband doesn’t like to borrow. But he went up to borrow my brother’s trailer to haul this thing (I’m not sure what to call it, except monstrosity) home. It weights 2000 lbs. Use to have a mainframe computer in. He wants it for the shelving. I know it sounds strange, but I’m sure it’s going to work wonderfully.
Okay, first his transmission is still out of his truck. So he’s using the Jeep (notice how I used he, not we). First before he left home, he had to fix the trailer lights. Okay, that wasn’t good. Then he ended up cutting the pigtail off his truck and was going to us that.
So off he goes (remember this is a 45 minute drive from our house, my brother lives close to my parents).
So I started cleaning house. He left around 6:30ish. I figured he’d be home by 9, you know drive up there hook up the trailer and come home. I didn’t think he’s stay and visit, because we get up early. We both have to be at work by 7:30.
Okay, 9:30 rolls around, and I’m debating whether I should call my Dad to see if he knows if Bart is headed home. But then I hear him in the driveway… then I notice... he doesn’t have the trailer. I’m afraid to ask. I just knew something wasn’t right.
So I go out to see him. Didn’t ask, still afraid to.
Then he looks at me. I knew something wasn’t right. He’d gotten up there, got the thingy in with the ball to hook up the trailer. Got the lights working, then hooked up the trailer onto the ball. Then he says “the hitch and trailer fell to the ground, trailer hitch was rusted”. Okay, I wanted to laugh, but couldn’t decide if he thought it was funny or not. Then I smirked. He laughed. (thank goodness). So now the Jeep no longer has a trailer hitch and we still have this 2000 lbs thingy to get home. Do you think this is a sign? I’m not sure but anything that weighs 2000 lbs scares me!
I haven’t mentioned it, but I’ve started a part-time job (every-other weekend). But for training purposes I am working three weekends in a row. So I’m past the second weekend, but not yet half-way thru 21 days of working straight. Well, it’ll only be 20 days with one off. I took off Monday, October 17th. I am so tired I can’t see straight. Speaking of straight, my house isn’t, which drives me insane. I like everything in it’s place. And right now, I can’t even think about it. It’s got to get better, right?

Sunday, October 16, 2005

We were on our way home from work on Thursday evening, after our chiropractor appointments. When I remembered that I hadn’t heard from my mother-in-law or sister-in-law. We usually do “Mexican” Thursday’s and meet them in town. I had been so busy at work that I hadn’t thought about it. I’m driving, on the back road, going slowly (because he usually likes me to) I should have been curious when he wanted to know why I was going so slowly, said he had stuff to do at home. But I didn’t think much of it, just couldn’t figure it out.

Then when we get home, he said he wasn’t very hungry. I had tried to get him to go out to eat and he wasn’t interested. Okay, by this time I’m getting aggregated. Why? Because I want to get dinner cooked, eaten and cleaned up!

So I go ahead and go down to the basement to start a load of laundry. Then I came back up to the kitchen to start dinner, whether or not he’s hungry, I figured he’d eat it! Then I notice someone pulling into the driveway. I told Bart it’s probably the neighbors they had mentioned dropping off a book. He didn’t say anything, but he was picking up so things in the living room that were sitting around. He does that sometime, but he just grinned at me.

Into the house came my parents, my sister and her family, my brother and his family, his mother and my sister-in-law and her twin girls. Hummm… I look at him as said. “What did you do?” He just grinned. He was having a surprise birthday party for me. Aaagghh.. Okay I had had a cold earlier that week, my house was a wreck. But its family, I just smile. And they carried in food, paper stuff to eat with, cake and ice cream! It was a very nice gathering. And much unsuspected. Nice touch from my husband who still surprises me.

We had talked earlier in the week, had agreed there weren’t enough hours in the week to worry about doing anything for my birthday, and I was fine with that. But no, he couldn’t stand it. I turned 40 on Friday, October 14th.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

We live in the “country”. Up until about five years ago we had a few neighbors. Then one old man (I’m being nice), sold his property to a realtor. Okay, this probably wouldn’t have been so bad, except they robbed him blind. The man was 92 and didn’t get out much. His wife had died the winter before so he was alone, except for his son lived beside him. He didn’t even mention to his son that he wanted to sell. This realtor came around as chatted to the old man (and we believe) got him to sell.

Okay, needless to say it made hard feelings between the son and father. But then the realtor divided up the property into lots, very small lots. Then the first trailer moved in, granted I’m not a snob. But I was skeptical and was use to not having neighbors. We now have two trailers, one modular, and one stick built home. Okay, until the police started making regular visits. Then one evening, the police were searching for the neighbors’ oldest son was wanted on an arrest warrant, until all of this we lived in a quite neighborhood.

Tonight we’ve got kids (two, 10 & 13) running up and down the road on quad runners. It wouldn’t be so bad, but they get onto others property (without permission). Which is a liability to the property owners; we’re not the only ones involved. And of course, if they ask, because of liability, you can’t let them. They don’t understand. Why would anyone that wanted to run quad runners buy 1 acre? Duh! I say. We have several acres, more than 10 less than 20. We don’t currently own a quad runner, but we do lots of hiking on our property. And don’t want it all rutted up on our trails.

A couple of Saturdays ago, the older boy and a friend of his went walking down the road with a gun. (maybe a 22 rifle). Okay, first they once again didn’t have permission, and what were they going to shot? Their father wasn’t with them. So my husband, drove went after them. First asked if they had permission, what they were planning to shooting, etc. After many vague answers he sent them home and told them if their parents had a problem with that to send them down. We didn’t see anything from them. My guess is they didn’t want us to call the police to complain. Which would have been our next step, kids that young should be using guns unsupervised.

So now we’ve got the dilemma of being a good or a bad neighbor. We’ve considered calling the police in on this, but it seems unreasonable. We usually save that call for the deer hunters that trespass!
I must say that I liked not having so many issues to deal with. And it’s not like we’ve made friends with any of the new neighbors.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I’ve been practicing and hope that I have the confidance to sing this Sunday at church. Time will tell. I believe that you can do anything with God’s help. And sometimes that means turning it all over to him, even if you have to wait for his answer. I believe that he taking care of Bart and I right now. I see things in our lives and know that it is in his time, not ours. And I praise him and thank God for everything.

SONG:Selah - You Raise Me Up Lyrics
When I am down, and oh my soul, so weary.
When troubles come, and my heart burdened be.
Then I am still and wait here in the silence.
Until You come and sit awhile with me.
You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.
You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.
There is no life. No life without its hunger.
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly.
But when you come and I am filled with wonder.
Sometimes I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.
You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
You raise me up to more than I can be.

Thursday, October 06, 2005

I’m not sure where to start. My father-in-law, David was diabetic. It isn’t that unusual, but after years of dealing with “how much” insulin to use, he couldn’t seem to get it under control. We all had noticed these little “spells” he was having. He kept saying his sugar must be off. He was going to his family doctor; she finally decided to send him to have his heart checked. What he found out changed all of our lives as we knew them.
October 14, 2004, the heart specialist, immediately sent him for x-rays. The doctor then asked him to come back the next day. The doctor’s office then called them (David and my mother-in-law, Linda) back the same afternoon, asking if they would spare the time to drive back to their office. As you can imagine, if they think it won’t wait until the next day, it’s serious. The doctor then explained what they’d found, they believed it to be cancer. They had already set up an appointment for an oncologist. It was set up for first thing the next day. Next step, determine how much, what kind, where to go from here.
October 15, 2004, after several test, we learned that David had Renal Cell Carcinoma. He was already stage 4. If we had all realized what that really meant, would we have made the same decisions? The doctors sounded like there was hope. Not that there wasn’t, we all prayed daily. It just was much more than we realized. Our family had never been touched this closely by cancer. David had some precancerous cell found during a colonoscopy, but that had been in 1999. But all was well according to the doctors from his testing following the colonoscopy.
The following Monday began David’s first round of radiation, for 15 days. On David’s schedule of treatment, November 16, surgery for the removal of the kidney with the cancer. A risky chance for a diabetic, but the doctor seemed to think it best to remove the organ making and spreading the cancer, hopefully slowing the cancer. The surgery went well, but recovery was extremely slow. A couple of weeks later, more radiation, over just in time for Christmas. We had a very nice Christmas, only saddened by the fact that David was so weak. And his oldest granddaughter, Mindy, wasn’t there. We had made the effort to let her know, but at just 19, she would learn that some decisions are a mistake.
We were beginning to be familiar faces at the emergency room. We spent New Year’s Eve, in the emergency room, David’s blood pressure 240/109 with severe nausea. The blood pressure alone was scary. I think we all knew then that it wasn’t improving the way we expected. His best friend, John (who lives in Ohio, wife Wanda) started coming every other weekend. January brought on another round of radiation. This round of radiation was the hardest. We were spending more time in the hospital than out. By the last week of February, we were told “hospice”. It was hard just hearing it, let alone know what it meant.
The doctor ordered a last x-ray, before leaving the hospital. It turned into a nightmare for all of us. Somehow, someway, David’s hip got broke while he was down in x-ray. How did we find out? The surgeon came in to talk to Linda around 10pm on Friday night, surgery to be first thing Saturday. We were warned by his oconcologist that because of his weakened state, he might not come out of the surgery. So we notified all the family. We had over 25 people with us in the waiting room the next morning. It was a long morning. Surprisingly he came thru surgery and talked with us later in the day.
For some reason only know to God, he made a turn for the worse on Sunday. Linda called us at 4:35 on Monday morning. His blood pressure was dropping, it didn’t look good. He died on Thursday, March 3, 2005. He is very much missed.

Monday, October 03, 2005

Well I got to take my walk Saturday, need more leaves down for a good crunch, but still a very pleasant walk. Then moved on to cleaning house, my goal is to always be done by noon. (or else at a good stopping place) And for the most part I do it during the week, before work. (That way nobody is there during the day to mess it up!)
I even got to mow our yard on Saturday. I say it that way, because I have asthma and it’s rag weed season. So outdoor isn’t always kind to me. But I’ve been taking allergy shots since last September (2004) and they do seem to be making it better. Or at least I think that is what is making it better. I really enjoyed being outside too. And Bart got to work on his pickup truck, it's transmission is sick.
Then Saturday evening we went visiting Bart’s cousin. We call it “the Wilson’s”. But of course, they are not all Wilson’s. It was lots of fun, they were having chili for dinner and smores for dessert! Bart’s sister has three year old twins, and his cousin, Becky, has three year old twins (both sets are girls). Plus five other kids, two younger than the 2 set of twins, and three older, all under the age of eight. We did smores! We had more sticky kid fingers than adults! Needless to say we enjoyed the smores, but what a mess.