Why Nott Me

Thursday, October 06, 2005

I’m not sure where to start. My father-in-law, David was diabetic. It isn’t that unusual, but after years of dealing with “how much” insulin to use, he couldn’t seem to get it under control. We all had noticed these little “spells” he was having. He kept saying his sugar must be off. He was going to his family doctor; she finally decided to send him to have his heart checked. What he found out changed all of our lives as we knew them.
October 14, 2004, the heart specialist, immediately sent him for x-rays. The doctor then asked him to come back the next day. The doctor’s office then called them (David and my mother-in-law, Linda) back the same afternoon, asking if they would spare the time to drive back to their office. As you can imagine, if they think it won’t wait until the next day, it’s serious. The doctor then explained what they’d found, they believed it to be cancer. They had already set up an appointment for an oncologist. It was set up for first thing the next day. Next step, determine how much, what kind, where to go from here.
October 15, 2004, after several test, we learned that David had Renal Cell Carcinoma. He was already stage 4. If we had all realized what that really meant, would we have made the same decisions? The doctors sounded like there was hope. Not that there wasn’t, we all prayed daily. It just was much more than we realized. Our family had never been touched this closely by cancer. David had some precancerous cell found during a colonoscopy, but that had been in 1999. But all was well according to the doctors from his testing following the colonoscopy.
The following Monday began David’s first round of radiation, for 15 days. On David’s schedule of treatment, November 16, surgery for the removal of the kidney with the cancer. A risky chance for a diabetic, but the doctor seemed to think it best to remove the organ making and spreading the cancer, hopefully slowing the cancer. The surgery went well, but recovery was extremely slow. A couple of weeks later, more radiation, over just in time for Christmas. We had a very nice Christmas, only saddened by the fact that David was so weak. And his oldest granddaughter, Mindy, wasn’t there. We had made the effort to let her know, but at just 19, she would learn that some decisions are a mistake.
We were beginning to be familiar faces at the emergency room. We spent New Year’s Eve, in the emergency room, David’s blood pressure 240/109 with severe nausea. The blood pressure alone was scary. I think we all knew then that it wasn’t improving the way we expected. His best friend, John (who lives in Ohio, wife Wanda) started coming every other weekend. January brought on another round of radiation. This round of radiation was the hardest. We were spending more time in the hospital than out. By the last week of February, we were told “hospice”. It was hard just hearing it, let alone know what it meant.
The doctor ordered a last x-ray, before leaving the hospital. It turned into a nightmare for all of us. Somehow, someway, David’s hip got broke while he was down in x-ray. How did we find out? The surgeon came in to talk to Linda around 10pm on Friday night, surgery to be first thing Saturday. We were warned by his oconcologist that because of his weakened state, he might not come out of the surgery. So we notified all the family. We had over 25 people with us in the waiting room the next morning. It was a long morning. Surprisingly he came thru surgery and talked with us later in the day.
For some reason only know to God, he made a turn for the worse on Sunday. Linda called us at 4:35 on Monday morning. His blood pressure was dropping, it didn’t look good. He died on Thursday, March 3, 2005. He is very much missed.


Blogger Barbara said...


What can I say?

I am reading this through a veil of tears..

The not knowing - then the knowing.

The hope and then the despair.

The coming to terms with such an illness - and the far reaching impact on your family life.

Time is a great healer they say..

I hope you all are finding some truth in this saying

I hope also that you have found the strength to deal with all the other issues - and your step daughter has found some peace over her decision not to visit.

I wil return and reread and maybe make more sense next time.


B x


07 October, 2005 00:53  

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